lately

I was reading one of the many wedding blogs I follow and there was an entry on wedding invitation wording and what is proper and what is not. I read some examples and almost all of them used someone along the lines of ...

Mr and Mrs. Soandso invite you to

the marriage of their daughter

Blahdiblah Soandso

to

Joe Schmo

and with that first line it felt like someone sucked all the air out of my lungs. There will be no Mr and Mrs, no first dance, no wedding toast from my dad. So when people wonder why i am still having a hard time its things like this...

father's day 2011

A coworker came up to my supervisor today and asked if he could go home because his mother was dying and she had asked to see him and my heart broke. I was thrown back into the days before my father passed away when I'd agonize over the hours spent at work and away from the hospital and I'd sit at my desk red eyed and puffy from crying in the bathroom all afternoon. Today is such a shitty day, I wish the world could turn off days like today to people like me and my family. I know that sounds so selfish but how else can I feel? I miss my dad so much today.

this was fun.

Father's day

One day I hope this won't always feel like someone is punching my in the chest but my dad would have loved this card.

basically