lately

I was reading one of the many wedding blogs I follow and there was an entry on wedding invitation wording and what is proper and what is not. I read some examples and almost all of them used someone along the lines of ...

Mr and Mrs. Soandso invite you to

the marriage of their daughter

Blahdiblah Soandso

to

Joe Schmo

and with that first line it felt like someone sucked all the air out of my lungs. There will be no Mr and Mrs, no first dance, no wedding toast from my dad. So when people wonder why i am still having a hard time its things like this...

father's day 2011

A coworker came up to my supervisor today and asked if he could go home because his mother was dying and she had asked to see him and my heart broke. I was thrown back into the days before my father passed away when I'd agonize over the hours spent at work and away from the hospital and I'd sit at my desk red eyed and puffy from crying in the bathroom all afternoon. Today is such a shitty day, I wish the world could turn off days like today to people like me and my family. I know that sounds so selfish but how else can I feel? I miss my dad so much today.

this was fun.

Father's day

One day I hope this won't always feel like someone is punching my in the chest but my dad would have loved this card.

basically

PRB weekend and I'll be at a metal show

I am feeling very un-punk rock right now. Maybe some Against Me! will help?

Are you feeling more P.F.R. now?

 I know I am!

This girl

I may never be thin enough, pretty enough, tall enough, I may never impress you with my wit or sense of humor, I may never love metal or punk rock or indie music enough, I will probably never dress the way you think I should or the way you might BUT at the end of the day I know who I am and what I want out of life and who loves me and who I love and some people may never be able to say that.

I am 5'4" on a good day and teetering on the edge of happy and miserable with my weight. I am an aspiring zombie make up artist and (hopefully soon) beauty school student (round two). I am in love with Michael James Wild. I am the youngest of 3, born on the 3rd. I am a mean, spiteful, funny, loud, Disneyland loving, kind, beautiful, big hearted, singing, movie quoting, lost, happy girl. I will never be what you expected or hoped for. I am a daughter, sister, best friend, aunt, lover, h8r, jerk, sweetheart, bitch and beauty and I'll never stop evolving.

 I am Erin Elizabeth Borgos whether you like it or not.