Lately things have been kind of crappy for everyone in Wildhaus. The cats are fighting, the dishes are never quite done, the roses are lonely and Michael and I are both just down in the dumps most days. To combat this cloud of gloom hanging over us we have been having slap fights(only playful of course), trying out new recipes and just trying to relax and take things as they come. The biggest problem is we both can only help each other so much, we can only offer so many jokes or hugs or smooches and it's never really enough or it can never really lift that cloud.
I have to say that Michael helps pull me out of the panic attacks and nightmares and moments when it is all just too much but I don't think I can offer that to him no matter what I do (or don't do). I am struggling with this, I keep hoping something I do will help but so far I'm not getting the results I'm hoping for but it isn't about me, is it? I just wish I could give to Michael the relief he offers me anytime I need it, even if I don't recognize that I need it. I am trying to accept that maybe he doesn't need that sort of attention or support from me. Maybe he just needs me to stand back, relax and let him do this on his own.
Maybe?
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