I want to tell you about the road trip, about the drive down and the awesome motel in china town or about standing in line for 3 hours to guarantee my best friend and I could sing along and throw our fists in the air to the same words we were falling in love with 9 years ago. I want to tell you about all of this but all I can think about is how much I miss my Dad today and how unreal it is that he is no longer here to celebrate his birthday or any birthday ever. I wanted to call his phone and leave a message singing happy birthday or go buy him some new board shorts like I did for almost every birthday before this one. I tried so hard to pretend it wasn't killing me all day but once I gave in to what I was feeling it felt so much easier to just cry if i needed to or laugh if it felt right. I wouldn't have survived had I not been surrounded by my best friend and Michael. I know he would have been so proud of the Cadillac margaritas and Santana playing in the restaurant. So Happy Birthday Dad, wherever you are, I miss you and love you.
p.s. this was written last night on Dads actual birthday but I wasn't able to get it up til today. I promise I'll write a happy entry and post some pictures from the road trip soon.
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